Sunday, May 16, 2004

When You Need Strength

In church today, my minister, Judy Brain, spoke about the soldiers in the Abu Ghraib camp and why some did not find the courage to speak out against the ungodly treatment of the prisoners.

I thought of this hymn. We are so often -- much more often than we admit -- asked to do the right BUT UNPOPULAR thing. We are called to be courageous and truthful all the time in our work lives, our personal lives, in unusual times and seemingly unimportant places -- seeing a man drop a $20 bill out of his pocket in line at Burger King, he doesn't notice it, so it lies there, what do you do?

We need courage to act with love and godly goodness. When we see a wrong do we address it? Do we rise to the challenge?

Perhaps you don't believe in evil. Perhaps the devil and temptation seem too stagey, too phoney to be real in your world. I don't think so. I think there is a force of evil -- a place where light is sucked into darkness -- and we are called on to NAME it and right the wrong of its intention. It would have us all sucked into darkness, given half a chance.

And though this world, with devils filled, should threaten to undo us,
We will not fear, for God hath willed His truth to triumph through us:
The Prince of Darkness grim, we tremble not for him;
His rage we can endure, for lo, his doom is sure,
One little word shall fell him.

What A Friend We Have In Jesus

We managed, against all odds, to actually go to church this morning.

Just to get out the door in a pouring springy summer rain, into the car, no shoes, no socks for my kid, who had left them in the car, then wrestled into all required clothes on the way to church and then the two of us late and creeping stealthily into the balcony pews, phew, we did it. I only notice then, I have one black sock, one navy. Whatever ...

They had all these great lovely old hymns on the menu this week. Out the big windows, God was dish dish dishing the rain out in steady needles. The trees were sucking it all up after that Sahara Desert of a day yesterday, so glad to get it.

My kid is almost 9 years old and doesn't want to go to baby Sunday School church lately, so he hid out with me in the balcony and went to big church. He even stood up to sing the hymns with me, which he had never done before. It was great.

For The Beauty Of The Earth

Sweet Hour of Prayer

What A Friend We Have in Jesus


Visit-A-Blogger

With these super cheap deals, you really gotta pick a blogger, any blogger and talk them into letting you visit this summer. Remember the rule: house guests and fish smell after three days.

Downward Dog

One of my favorite yoga positions where you are sticking your butt straight up in the air, stretching your back, your legs, your arms.

This is, however, NOT one that JetBlue recommends you do in flight. Here is their yoga inflight suggestion card. Check it out. I love downward dog when I'm on the ground and I love JetBlue when I'm in the air.

SuperFly Is Right

JetBlue is doing incredible SUPERFLY deals. Boston to Tampa for $59 is not to be beat. And how about Boston to Denver for $79. And if you're in NYC -- it's $99 to just about anywhere on the West Coast.

About This Bright Green Terrarium

I have been snuggled in and not thinking about what is going outside the windows. It was blazing hot yesterday, near 90 and maybe last night ... did it rain?

But the green green green ferns and foliage and grass outside seem to glow bright and lush, like a nicely damp terrarium. The weather seems ready to do something, on the edge of something -- a rain storm? I don't know. I prefer the weather of my bed sheets and the feather duvet raining down all around me.

Reading Around The Web

It has become a home away from home. HTTP://hither and HTTP://yon. You go here, you go there, you check up on your neighbors, you wonder after strangers, when all seems well, you sink back into your own world, but who's to say it's not as real a world. It's nice to visit the UK and Australia and Japan in a flick of a wrist, the click of a mouse.

Sunday Lazy

That "day of rest" concept sounds pretty good right about now. Feeling pretty Sunday lazy and one more cup of tea and maybe diving back into bed wouldn't be the worst thing.

Saturday, May 15, 2004

Counterproductive

Some people just write so well. Check out Ebert's review of the new movie Troy:
The movie recounts the legend of the Trojan War, as the fortress city is attacked by a Greek army led by Menelaus of Sparta and Agamemnon of Mycenae. The war has become necessary because of the lust of the young Trojan prince named Paris (Orlando Bloom), who while during a peace mission to Sparta, seduces the city-state's queen, Helen (Diane Kruger).

This action understandably annoys Helen's husband, Menelaus (Brendan Gleeson), not to mention Paris' brother Hector (Eric Bana), who points out, quite correctly, that when you visit a king on a peace mission, it is counterproductive to leave with his wife.

Belgian Waffles

Last night, it was a most delicious May evening, a polite battle of the hot end of the day with cool evening breezes and we trotted over to our friends house where the dad with a nice sharp new short haircut and a bit more tan than last week, was looking good and cooking up a mess of Belgian Waffles.

Belgian Waffles the crunchy, deep, corrugated kind, next to three blessed bowls of summer fruit -- strawberries, raspberries, blueberries -- and an army of whipped cream cans deployed and standing tall at the ready for a houseful of kids -- all boys, an 8- year-old, two 9's then two 11's and the 13 was off at a friend's house down the road, I guess. Neighbors came by to chat and admire the waffles, I'm sure you could smell the fresh burn of the waffle iron a few houses down.

The Mom and I were ensconced on the couch in the living room, sipping tonic, and recounting long ago romances. One son was stealthy, over in the corner, pretending to read -- READ?! -- on such a summer night, when he could be tearing around in the yard outside with his brothers, but we knew better. He couldn't resist eavesdropping. At one particularly hot spot in the story, he blurts out the exact word I had just whispered to his mom, showing he wasn't missing a single syllable of our girl talk. We bite his little head off and tell him to mind his own business.

In the kitchen, there is something perfectly holy about the way the light shines down on the scene of a delicious May evening with friends.

Friday, May 14, 2004

Good Advice On Bad Credit

Here's the government's suggestions on avoiding fraudulent credit card counseling services. This is from the Fair Trade Commission's website.

Notice at the bottom of the page, the three main credit card reporting companies are listed. You can get a free report from each once a year. Call.

Credit bureaus usually are listed in the yellow pages of your telephone book under "credit reporting agencies." Three large national credit bureaus supply most credit reports: Equifax, Experian and Trans Union. You may want to contact each of them for a copy of your report.

Equifax
1-800-685-1111
www.equifax.com

Experian
1-888-EXPERIAN (397-3742)
www.experian.com

Trans Union
1-800-916-8800
www.transunion.com

I'm trying to remember what Experian used to be called -- I know they changed their name, anyone recall?

Get Out Of Debt Seminar From Motley Fool

Wait until you see this. The Motley Fool has such killer resources. If I haven't visited them for a while, I always kick myself when I get back around to it, because I find incredibly valuable stuff there.

This course of theirs called The Motley Fool Get Out Of Debt Seminar seems to be thorough, detailed, easy to understand, really helpful and FREE! They rock!

Listen to this good advice:

Key points

If debt troubles have pushed you to the edge of sanity, STOP... and take a deep breath. It may seem like the end of the world, but we can assure you that it's not.

It's in everyone's best interest -- both yours and the people to whom you owe money -- to get you out of crisis mode and into a repayment plan that you can handle. Nobody wins if you spiral down to bankruptcy.

The laws are actually on your side, although you'll have to get organized to take advantage of them.

A good credit counseling service can turn your life around, but please choose carefully. For some reason debt problems draw a lot scam artists.

Credit Card Hocus Pocus

I've been getting my financial house in order post-divorce and looking over all my credit cards, all their rates, all their hidden fees, paying off debt, etc. There are so many good sources for consumer education about how the credit card companies operate.

The Motley Fool is a good place to start. Read this.

Thursday, May 13, 2004

"My Safe Place"

Good thing here about how Pink worked with Linda Perry to do her third album, TRY THIS, and she says
"On this record, I started with Linda, because that's my safe place," Pink says. The chemistry was still there, and TRY THIS features three songs produced by Perry: the old-school R&B-flavored "Catch Me While I'm Sleeping," (written by Perry), the Led-Zep flavored "Waiting for Love" (co-written by Pink and Perry) and infectious "Try Too Hard."
Love this album, but also loved the last one too.

Tonight

Pink

Well tonight's the night I'm gonna get right
Gonna hit the scene with my friends
Tonight's the night Imma feel alright, feel alright again
Tonight's the night Imma do what I gotta do to get out of here
Tonight's the night Imma feel alright, feel alright again

Bought myself a quick, cheap ticket, looking for a brand new scene
Gotta get the hell outta Hollwyood cause everything is halloween
Hit the town brass knuckles, make all the good people stare
I hope I don't end up in jail, but then again I don't realy care

Tonight's the night I'm going to get right
Gonna hit the scene with my friends
Tonight's the night Imma feel alright, feel alright again
Tonight's the night Imma do what I gotta do to get out of here
Tonight's the night Imma feel alright, feel alright again

Think it's time to have some fun, but what am I gonna wear
And where are we gonna go, and who's gonna do my hair
Got these hotass boots, but ain't got nothin to do
Somebody better give me some gas money, we're sitting here like fools

Tonight's the night I'm gonna get right
Gonna hit the scene with my friends
Tonight's the night Imma feel alright, feel alright again
Tonight's the night Imma do what I gotta do to get outta here
Tonight's the night Imma feel alright, feel alright again

I'm leaving today, I'm going far, far, far away
Got no reason to stay cause I don't wanna play
So can you hang, it's gonna be all night

Tonight's the night I'm gonna get right
Gonna hit the scene with my friends
Tonight's the night Imma feel alright, feel alright again
Tonight's the night Imma do what I gotta do to get outta here
Tonight's the night Imma feel alright, feel alright again

Bought myself a quick, cheap ticket, lookin for a brand new scene
Gotta get the hell outta Hollywood cause every day is halloween
Hit the town with brass knuckles, all the good people stare
I hope I don't end up in jail, but then again I don't really care

Tonight's the night I'm gonna get right
Gonna hit the scene with my friends
Tonight's the night Imma feel alright, feel alright again
Tonight's the night Imma do what I gotta do to get outta here
Tonight's the night Imma feel alright, feel alright again

Love At Long Last

Alpha Octopus scores octopussy! Way to go man. And they thought it was too late for you -- never say never.

The two really hit it off. Spermatophores were seen hanging from J-1's siphon.
Talk about sexy! Va-va-va-voom! I'll bet J-1 has a very happy siphon these days.

Cowtown -- I Think Not

I'll be in Denver next week ... okay, okay, Boulder, a world of difference I know ... and it ain't no cowtown from what I hear about it these days. Looking forward to it.

You Really Don't Have To Look

Lovely summer afternoon and eveningish yesterday spent at my friend Adam's pool, part in the hot tub, part swimming, splashedy, splashedy. Adam happens to make killer Turkey Chili and homemade Hawaiian Punch popsicles which are terrific and has the loveliest Koi pond. One fish with a yellow head is named Goldberg, one black and white spotted one called Elsie. Much fun.

We were talking about the disturbing pictures in the papers and on TV that you can barely avoid, and can get you DOWN big time, but I HAVE BEEN avoiding them. I've been taking time to make my house pretty, organize my finances, care for my son, care for myself, write, read, make new friends. Especially helping my kid avoid the barrage of dreadful images. My mom used to tell us when we drove by an auto accident on the roadside, "You really don't have to look."

Wednesday, May 12, 2004

Love Letters

I want to write some love letters to my Worthwhile collegues and make them blush. I really was thinking how much I love and appreciate them. I'm going to walk around with it in my mind today and my heart and write them later, but I want to toss some stuff up here first -- just hors d'oeuvres.

Some small teases for starters:

Kevin Salwen -- he is a wonderful man, funny as shit, bright, creates a feeling of a whole village of fun and safety and knock-around playfulness in one phone call, but you don't miss that he is a solid tribal elder and you can go to him with anything and he has a great way of making you look at your concern in a new way. And -- I hate his guts for this -- is a wonderful writer.

Anita Sharpe -- what a little knockout this girl is. She has surprised me more than anyone related to Worthwhile. I'm falling for her fast, because, honestly she is such a southern lady-fied lady, you might take her for rather conservative, but she's radically thoughtful and considerate and imaginative, and never what you expect. We had the funniest phone call where I thought she'd find the Worthwhile blog a big unweildly unruly lacking-in-basic-manners medium and ask me to start reeling the thing in -- but au contraire, mes amis -- she was way ahead of me on how experimental a blog can be and SHOULD be. She blows my mind. Magnificently inspirational leader. Wonderful writer. Great colleague. Go Girl.

Boris Anthony -- working with Boris is a blessing and he's so old (older than me by 1000's of years) and so young, but smart as a whip. Does not get easily rattled. Has great artistic breadth. Has been everywhere. Knows when to talk. Knows when to be quiet. I'm trying hard to grow up and turn into Boris one of these days. Of course, has killer techy chops, but deliciously flavored with graphic design sophistication. Is funny as hell. Is able to deal with me (no small thing). Is a good man. Is a good friend. Speaks French. Understands my broken crazy French. Has the sexiest voice -- the reason I NEVER call him on the phone. Loves the right cheeses. Savors life. Rare person.

David Weinberger -- I could gush, but might restrain myself, because David hates it when I gush. I love love love love David. He's so David. Can be annoying when being the worry wart, but all sins are forgiven because he is a mega-mensch and good and reasonable and kind and insanely funny. What a fucking great writer. And he's very good at being married -- I love that about him. No flirty funny business ever, but of course this only makes him that much more stealthily sexy. David, you blushing? Not to worry. It's your big brain that gets me hot.

Tom Peters -- Whoa Nelly! Man oh man oh man. He's always got my leadership body and innovation brain in full workout mode at the gym. He challenges everything I ever think and makes me lift weights intellectually way beyond my usual settings. I'm pumping innovation iron that I didn't think I could handle with this guy. Intense. Oh yes. Generous and funny -- yeah yeah yeah. Alpha Male -- you betcha. Love his writing. Killer presentation style.

Rebecca Ryan -- Just getting to know her, but isn't she cool?! I like her very very much and want to go live in her town with her and in her world with her and I am honored she has the time to share those very things with us, up close and personal, on the blog. She gives good voice. On the day I got divorced and was shattered for the most part and could not write for Worthwhile, she wrote a wonderful piece and it made me so happy that day to see her stuff, I really appreciated it.

Kate Yandoh -- Of course, Kate and I know we are evil girl twins, she the dark daring brunette, me the spoiled nutty blonde. We keep finding out weird coincidences like we went to the same college and we think a lot of the same things and wait til she sees me dance -- I know she loves to dance, but wait til she hears how much I love to dance. Wait til she hears how I was almost became an Arthur Murray dance instructor but went to work for a software company instead, right after I graduated from college. Kate is young as a kid but hangs out with CEO's and started her own company a long time ago when she was a microkid. She is so cool. I have serious Yandoh Envy and she is such a great writer. What a super treat to know her. I love her black hair, especially since I'm blond and if she were blond, I'd just have to kill her instead of be friends with her.

David Batstone -- David is annoying me by writing such damned great stuff and having so much success and being so smart and doing fascinating interviews out of the blue with incredible people and hiding out on the West Coast, unwilling (wisely) to give me his IM address. It's a great thing to know him and I'm so glad some Worthwhile Angel steered him our way. I made him meet me and David Weinberger on a cold icy bench in a freezing cold park in Brookline one day a few months ago -- his trial by fire -- and he passed with flying colors and now I just think he's terrific.


Long Lost Lucre

I had an IRA account I set up in 1998 in California. One thing about divorce is you really have to get your financial house in order. I feel like Lara Croft or something, wearing my safari clothes, as I dig dig dig to find everything I need in this jungle of bills, certificates, 401K's, SEP's, IRAs.

This IRA wasn't a big account, only $2,000 originally, but I have to put it in the mix with all the other stuff as we dismantle our financial marriage. The last statement I had was from 1998. They actually spelled my name SVITT instead of SUITT, and they never made the CA--->MA address change so it had ended up in "Abandoned Accounts" according to a really helpful nice guy on the other end of the phone. He told me the balance (the data I needed right away), the way to reclaim it, like an orphaned baby, and what to do to resolve it. Thanks Fidelity, really appreciate your help.

Old Stories

I've been finding lots of things as I do this massive spring cleaning. I found a lot of old stories I'd written -- hurray -- which I thought were lost.

Here are some of the titles. I'll be posting them.

Sake Club
What is Lionel Worth?
The Seduction of Bill Bolton
To Have And To Hold
Cast Members

Cleaning House

I've been SERIOUSLY cleaning house. I got a really lovely woman to come help me and she's been helping me declutter. She's kindof a maid/genius/organizer/no nonsense woman. What a treat! I am building a clean new life with a lot less STUFF in it. Out with the old, in with the new.

"Come Away From The Window"

I have French neighbors with the cutest little doll of a 2-year-old girl and this morning she was peeking at me out her window, as I dragged the garbage out for trash and recycle day. I'm blond like her.

I have tight, washed out blue jeans on and a navy cotton teeshirt on, bright pink flip-flops, my toes are lacquered bright pink, my fingers too, happy jellybean bright pink, as they clutch the black trash bags, she's looking at me and at first, I don't know it but then I look up and see her face. She's not staring, she's nearly memorizing me. Seriously, she doesn't smile, she's just intently watching my every move.

Writer. She's a writer. I think to myself, yes, and I smile.

I think of me at the window. Me at the window at 2, at 3, at 13, at 23, at 33, at 43 ... I was always watching. I liked to watch the blondes, they seemed to know their way around.

I look away, rearrange the trash bags, then turn back, she's gone.

In her house, I imagine her mother saying what mine would say sometimes -- something I hated and something that made me know they thought I was a little strange -- "come away from the window" they would say.

My Sense

Things are very up in the air right now. I feel like we are hanging high up on the hook of a tower crane, dizzying, perhaps about to drop, I hear the wind blowing about my ears, this is a precarious perch. We're about to see many things in our lives change shape, reform, reorganize.

Let me try to be more concrete ... the way we are living so dependent on oil will change, the big car thing will be changing, the credit card debt situation is changing, health care can't go on this way, with so many people uninsured, the way marriage works (doesn't work) is changing, the way big companies work (don't work) is changing, the way we think about family is changing, the way we treat people -- our notions of kindness and fairness in this world -- is changing, and this last one has a lot to do with women demanding a new respect and position in the world. Coming out from under the burqua. Women are changing many big things by making many small changes. They have no idea how much they are changing things.

Halley's Garden

I guess this is where it all started.

Enough Blogging

I've been having a number of conversations -- I might say coincidental conversations -- with top bloggers who are getting very tired of blogging. You'll notice I've cut back too lately.

Reading Andrew Sullivan's post on "Blog Fatigue" with the great line, "I begin to wonder what the half-life of a blogger is" and his pointer to Glenn Reynolds's confession of deep fatigue confirms this as well. They sound plain tuckered out.

Betsy Devine and I were talking about this yesterday at lunch. No surprise this is happening as the weather goes from spring to summer. I told her I just don't have the inclination to be hibernating at my desk, when I can be out and about with my son, riding bikes, playing Little League, eating ice cream.

The winter months spent inside warming one's hands in front of the computer monitor hearth made some sort of sense that makes no sense now.

Tuesday, May 11, 2004

Why I Plan To Live Until 2061

There's a very good reason. I'll get to see my namesake again!

Are These People From Another Planet?

Just got an alleged email from Citibank that reads, and I am quoting verbatim, in fact, simply cutting and pasting:

Dear CITI_bank Cardholders,

ThIs mesage was sent by_the Citicards serevr to veerify _your _EMAIL adrress_.
You must complete this process by clicking on the link beloww and enttering
in the litle winddow your _citibank_ Atm/Debit full card_nummber and Pin that
you_use in local_Atm_Machine. This_is done for your protection -1- because some_of our
memmbers _no_longer_ have access to their email addersses and we must verify it
.


Are these people from another planet? Do they really think anyone in the world would believe this is a real Citibank email?

Charles Hotel Truly Excellent

Ole Eichhorn wrote this great post about The Charles Hotel. I love it too. I was there today and they are always welcoming and top notch. If you're in Boston, it's worth whatever price to stay there. [Via Scripting]

Alpha Male Affairs

A lot of men I know are pretty cool with the idea of a relationship where they get to stray every now and then -- they ARE men, right? -- but honestly the idea of their wife or girlfriend having something on the side gets them completely crazy. There should be a name for this half-open relationship. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe men want to be just as faithful as women. But that's not the sense I get.

One thing comes up again and again in this discussion. Most men will confide in me that the really scary part is that they can have affairs and NOT fall in love with another woman, but their experience has been that if their wife or girlfriend has an affair, she has an affair of the body AND the heart.

I think there is something to this -- but it doesn't say anything good for men. Do they really only love with their bodies? I don't know. I've known some VERY romantic men who fall head over heels despite their best intentions to keep it all about sex. I've always thought the term "safe sex" was an oxymoron. There's nothing safe about sex and even more dangerous ... is love.

I Am Elmer J. Fudd

If you haven't seen this excellent Bugs Bunny cartoon, you're nowhere man!

Elmer Fudd runs a big corporation downtown, but goes nutty and ends up in a lunatic asylum, having delusions of being a rabbit. He talks Bugs Bunny into taking his place in the loony bin. Bugs walks around chanting the following mantra:

"I am Elmer J. Fudd, millionaire; I own a mansion and a yacht."

And here are a few zillion of his other famous quotes.

You Bet, Bets

Betsy, lunch today? Your blog's down so I couldn't get an update. What's shaking girl?

Monday, May 10, 2004

Just A Comment on Ev and Eric and Boris

Ev Williams and Eric Case get my honorary Alpha Male awards today -- and also Boris Anthony -- for helping me get comments up and running! Thanks guys, you're terrific. And btw, it doesn't take 3 guys to do it -- I just happened to screw it up so totally, I needed more help than usual.

I'm looking at that thing up there that says UPLOAD FILE and I get the sneaking suspicion I can start putting pictures in this blog -- is that true?! Wow, if so. Very cool.

The new Blogger UI is way way cool. Love it.

Comments On Halley's Comments

Yes, you might notice I'm trying to get comments up and running. I've done something goofy with my template and Blogger Help is trying to help me fix it.

I have gone back and forth about adding comments, but now that it's a new integrated part of Blogger, it seems silly not to.

HOWEVER, I ask everyone to use their best Alpha Male Gentlemanly and Alpha Female Gentlewomanly manners here and if some nasty boys or mean trolls show up, feel free to write mean things back at them to defend me and eventually, I'll just end up deleting off-topic, stupid, obnoxious or perfectly GROSS comments anywho.

It's a bit like weeding a garden. Something bloggers just have to get used to I guess.

Yes, you might notice I'm trying to get comments up and running. I've done something goofy with my template and Blogger Help is trying to help me fix it.

I have gone back and forth about adding comments, but now that it's a new integrated part of Blogger, it seems silly not to.

HOWEVER, I ask everyone to use their best Alpha Male Gentlemanly and Alpha Female Gentlewomanly manners here and if some nasty boys or mean trolls show up, feel free to write mean things back at them to defend me and eventually, I'll just end up deleting off-topic, stupid, obnoxious or perfectly GROSS comments anywho.

It's a bit like weeding a garden. Something bloggers just have to get used to I guess.

Home Home On The Range

There is something about the 3:00am wilderness that lets you wander like a free ranging farm animal, finding a bit of grass to nibble here, finding an empty open prairie there, finding no bothersome people to run into, no fences to keep you fenced in, that I just plain love. I am home on my wide open range grazing the people-free zone of this dark night.

Divorced

Seriously, what's really been going on is that after nearly two years of being separated, I got officially divorced on April 29th. It's as close to a orchestrating your own funeral as I've ever come. It's car-crash-frightening on some metaphorical level, and I ask forgiveness of those who've suffered real car crash loss, since divorce is only a paper crash and nothing near what they have experienced. So I guess I should say "it's tumultuous" as a better way to describe it. But actually, to be fair, there's no good way to describe it. And I haven't wanted to describe it. I've wanted to move on.

The white chalk lines of the bodies of a family are drawn on hard black asphalt outside the Cambridge Courthouse, and I pray for days of rain and some sun to wash the whole mess away. We had an accident. We all got injured. I try to understand what happened, was there something I could have done at the last minute, some way to drive the car of my marriage more expertly to avert the whole thing, but I think not. Credit where credit is due, the divorce was something I initiated, and still do believe it had to be done, but that seems like a long time ago -- a time when the idea of divorce made sense and seemed a better way to stay alive than suffering on in a marriage that was dead. Still, I know it hurt a lot of people, including me, and only wish for healing all around.

It Was The Middle

It was the middle ...
It was the middle ...
It was the middle of the night.

I keep thinking there's a song with those lyrics. Up at good old 3:30am since I went to bed before 9:00pm last night.

I haven't been writing at all for a pile of good and not-so-good reasons.

Actually I've been focusing seriously on all the email that I get that reads URGENT MESSAGE and I've been trying to help Nigerian monarchs reestablish their Swiss bank accounts. Surely they need my help they send me so many messages.

New Blogger Interface

I don't know what I was going to blog about -- but it has been officially pushed to the sidelines as I marvel at the new Blogger interface.

Oooooh! Aaaah! Neaty Keeno!

So clean and nice bold typeface.

Love it. Now if I could only go to that Blogger party in SF ... when was it again?

Friday, May 07, 2004

Author-In-Residence for National Center For Women And Information Technology

I know I haven't been blogging too much lately, but believe me I've been more than busy.

First of all, I've been chosen by the NCWIT to serve as Author-in-Residence, to help them document the process of building their new organization at U of Colorado, Boulder. Check out this link. I'm very excited and honored to be working with this terrific group.

Here's their mission statement. I'll be in Boulder in two weeks to kick things off.
The mission of the National Center for Women and Information Technology is to ensure that women are fully represented in the influential world of information technology. Through a nationally connected effort of programs, networks and research, the Center will work to guarantee that women’s perspectives and skills contribute significantly to the creation and application of information technology.
This will complement my work at Misbehaving.Net where I owe them some new blogging and will be sure to be doing just that soon, as well as my writing at Worthwhile Magazine.

Sunday, May 02, 2004

Pal Joi

Hadn't been reading Joi Ito's great blog enough lately but took time to do it yesterday and hit on a post I was particularly intriqued by --- about the Japanese hostage situation and their notions of apology and their social default parameter to put the collective before the individual.

The part that got me going, is this leap from Joi's description of the Japanese's natural self-effacing posture as a society and what this means for them in terms of being entrepreneurs. Joi suggests it's not a good thing. I agree.

"An important psychological element is that even though we are individuals, we often represent the group. I have something like 16 or so generations before me on my gravestone and I often feel like a mere blip in the history of my family. Taking risk or tainting my family name is not something that I can freely do without feeling the guilt and responsibility to my ancestors.

It's also interesting to note that most Japanese children's cartoons have story lines where they are a team. Often one of the members get in trouble or drop out of the group and the whole show is about how the group tries to help the drop out get back in tune with the group. It's usually the group saving the single "problem" member. On the other hand, many American cartoons are super-heros who are independent and save the world through taking risk and being different. I know I'm generalizing here, but people who watch a lot of Japanese TV will understand what I'm saying I think.

...

Although I understand what the NYT article is saying and I don't necessarily agree with the way the hostages are being treated and picked on right now, I think that lack of initial apologies and the feeling of Japanese to heroics in Japan is behind the reaction. Having said that, I think this attitude is what is hampering Japan's entrepreneurism as well as Japan's ability to participate as a leader in global affairs. It's a fairly deeply rooted cultural theme that won't change very easily though."


[BTW, Joi is pronounced Joey, just for the record.]

Insomnia, My Little Lover

I sure talk too much about sleeping here at H's Comment, but being up since 3:15am and it now rolling around to that late hour of nearly 4:00am, I thought I'd weigh in one more time.

To keep myself from getting overly fretful and saying the "I" word -- yes, insomnia --I play little games with myself. I think, for instance, of a hit parade of Times In Other Zones You Can Learn To Love. This can calm me down surprisingly well.

It's a more than reasonable time of nearly 10:00am in London. Tea, please.

It's a party-til-I-drop time of the-night-is-still-young 1:00am in LA. Teeny bikini, tiny martini, please.

It's time to push a stroller around a pretty park on Sunday afternoon in Tokyo. Nori crackers, please, lovely desu ne.

It's next winter and third Tuesday after Boxing Day in Australia or some insane thing. Must have beer.

It's all the way you look at it.

And honestly kids, I go to bed around 9:00pm, so 3:00am is really 6:00am for you guys who go to bed at midnight-ish. Just gotta play with the math a bit.

Anyway, I was rather rudely awakened this morning, as I mentioned around 3:00am, to a loud noise that sounded like an explosion. I just don't have time for terrorist fantasies anymore, so I chalked it up to "One More Noise In The Neighborhood You'll Never Find Out About" -- that odd phenomenon that despite the veritable inondation of news and gossip and bloggery and every piece of data coming at us 24X7, getting the goods on local noises outside your actual bedroom window remains nearly impossible.

My kid and I found a dead squirrel on the road outside our house here yesterday ... what happened? He looked spooky, paws frozen in hanging-from-a-ledge position, like something scary from The Shining, surely it was more than a suburban motorist's poor driving skills afoot. We will never know.

But back to my insomnia. He's like a lover with a hard-on who wants to tell you all about it, poking you awake at 3:00am uninvited. This morning I thought first, "Listen Buster, beat it. Leave me alone." And then got a little more cranky, thinking, "This insomnia might just kill my writing career -- I'm so tired all the time, I can't think straight, much less write."

But "Wait!" thinks I, "Baloney! This insomnia is the only reason I EVER write at all!" So ... I guess It's time to embrace you, my shameless lover and say "You again? Okay, okay. Give me a minute to get in position. Good morning, you sexy brute! I give up. I give in. Roll me over and I'll give you the time of day."

But first, please, somebody tell me ... what happened to that squirrel and what was that loud boom?

Cool Blog

Via Andrew Sullivan, don't miss this blog, Famous and Nonfamous Strangers. They've also launched the Virginia Is For Haters blog, to protest the new laws in the state of Virginia against gays and lesbians.

Friday, April 30, 2004

Poet's Corner

Not only is our new library just gorgeous and full of cozy chairs and large hassocks and windows and sunlight and air, but one particular favorite nook is right next to all the poetry books. I call it Poet's Corner.

I hadn't noticed whether the shelves held cook books or geography or algebra, I just loved the chairs there. But the other day I was snuggled into an armchair to read and when I came up for air, looked over at the shelf and realized all these wonderful people were lined up there looking over me -- all the Beat Poets in their great black beatnik garb -- shelves full of them and down the way, I saw Auden, Frost, Dickinson, Plath -- all my pals -- and on the far side I can see the more modern poets like Pinksky and Brodsky, one of my professors at Columbia, unfortunately no longer with us, but his words are. All his words right there at my Poet's Corner.

Of course my friend Matthew, a poet, didn't miss it for a minute. It's our favorite haunt now.

She Drives Me Crazy


Great piece about that French Bombshell, Brigitte Bardot, by Alan Vanneman in the City Lights Film Journal.

Facial Intercourse

What a term for kissing -- facial intercourse! Here's a tease from the piece I mention in the post below:
She Gives Good Lip

"The way you kiss says a lot about how you make love," says Ava Cadell, Ph.D., an L.A.-based sexologist and author. "I call kissing 'facial intercourse.' It's not just using the lips; it's using the entire body. If she uses her hands on you and presses her breasts into you and moans and groans, she's going to be a great lover. The best female lovers also create sexual anticipation. They start with baby kisses, and then maybe lick your top lip and suck your bottom lip, and as they're doing that, they play with your hair, or put your hands on them. It's sort of like a dance."

And I thought I'd written about kissing pretty thoroughly, but I guess not.

Seven Signs She'll Be Good In Bed

In one of my favorite magazines, Men's Health, don't miss this fun piece called 7 Signs She'll Be Good In Bed by Chris Connolly. No news to me. I do love coffee ice cream, I do love to dance, but honestly I'm not too skilled on the flying trapeze.

Are You Working Hard At Your Relationship?

If you weren't working hard enough at work, now you're expected to work hard at getting hard guys, even for the same woman you've shared a bed for 25 years with -- is that reasonable? Is this what the notion of working 24X7 has driven us to?

I'm reading a most amazing book, Against Love by Laura Kipnis where she suggests we've all gone off the deep end in America in terms of bringing the Puritan work ethic to the bedroom. She suggests giving up on "working at your marriage" and put a little passion in your life -- it's called adultery.

Some snippets:

"Nevertheless, our age dedicates itself to allying the turbulence of romance and the rationality of the long-term couple, hoping to be convinced despite all evidence to the contrary that love and sex are obtainable from one person over the course of decades, and that desire will manage to sustain itself over thirty or forty or fifty years of cohabitation (Should desire unaccountably sputter out, just give up sex; lack of libido for your mate is never an adequate rationale for "looking elsewhere.") Of course both parties must also work at keeping passion alive (what joy), given the presumption that even after living in close proximity to someone for an historically unprecedented length of time, you will still muster the requisite fizz to achieve sexual congress on a regular basis."

"And true enough, some couples do manage to perform enough psychical retooling to reshape the anarchy of desire to the confines of the marriage bed, plugging away at the task year after year like diligent assembly line workers (once a week, same time, same position), aided by the occasional fantasy or two to get the old motor to turn over, or keep running, or complete the trip. The erotic life of a nation of workaholics; if sex seems like work, clearly you're not working hard enough at it."



Work Work Work Work Work Work Work

Are we just overdoing it? I'm writing about it over here at Worthwhile this morning.

Thursday, April 29, 2004

This Day Begins

This day begins with me cleaning some old stuff out of the refrigerator and forcing it down the drain. The motorboat blades in the sink will ... in theory ... chop up just about anything and send it on its way down stream. A hard boiled egg, some old slices of mango, a leftover happy meal.

I always keep my fingers clear of the scary monster, held prayer-like at my waist, praying no one throws a wrench or even a spoon in the works.

It will make a clean sweep of it for you, but honestly as I watch it swirl and hear it grind -- syncopated ba-dum -- I remember even though it works remarkably well, it smells and unnerves you and no one really enjoys doing it.

Wednesday, April 28, 2004

Naked Fish

Also had a most delicious lunch at Naked Fish with a friend from Mitre today. Excellent food, excellent conversation, excellent funky Cuban decor and great music in the ladies room ... okay, I admit, that was me doing the samba in the mirror. A very passionate place thanks to it's owner.

Pingsville

Had a terrific meeting today in Cambridge with Ping Identity Corp's CEO, Andre Durand. Will be writing all about it tomorrow or Friday here and on Worthwhile blog. I think he helped me finally get my head around digital identity, what that means in a network environment -- worldwide network that is -- and what the future of his business is all about. Very very interesting.

Got some great pictures of Andre and Jeremy Allaire and me. I'll post them soon.

Rainy Day Men and Women

Had fun at The Charles Hotel last night.

Tuesday, April 27, 2004

HELLO

Sorry not to be around lately, been busy. But you can visit me over here too.

Sunday, April 25, 2004

Reading, Writing, 'Rithmetic

Well, sorry to hear Estee Lauder has passed away. Seems Yahoo News fell for that old line about her being not a day over 39.

The arithmetic is most mysterious.

They call her 95 years old here.

They call her 97 here.

I still think no one deserves 39 more than she.

Get The Math Straight

The following headlines are currently running -- I'm not sure how to link to them:

On Yahoo's main screen "Tens of Thousands Rally For Abortion Rights"

Click on that story headline and the headline becomes "Thousands March For Abortion Rights"

Then read deeper into that same story in the body copy and it says, "Authorities no longer give formal crowd estimates, but various police sources informally estimated the throng at between 500,000 and 800,000 strong."

So when is 800,000 = to "tens of thousands" exactly? Seems a little misleading.

You Only Have To Be Yourself

I was thinking of this on my bike the other day. When you're a kid, you're taking most of your cues from your family as to who the hell you are. You find out pretty damned quick, they don't know you from Adam.

Then, you start trying to figure out who you might be -- and that it might be nice to be yourself, on your own terms.

That's where I got stuck.

It was like a stick in the spokes of my bicycle wheel making a rickety-tickety noise.

Being yourself -- on your own terms.

That "your own terms" part is killer.

What if they really loved you when you were being your most unique and unusual self ON YOUR OWN TERMS. Not growing up to be the person they thought you should be, or the person they wanted you to be, or the person they approved of, or the person who "fit" in their world.

And then the truth of it occurred to me -- there are always a few people, maybe only one, when you are a kid, who actually does approve of you on your own terms. And that's all you need. You can set your compass for due north with that one solid mother lode (and often as not, it is a mother who loves you despite all the crazy things you do, but it can be your dad or an uncle or a wild great aunt or your older sister -- doesn't matter who.) You just need one person who likes you for being the weird you that you. And that one person will help you become yourself on your own terms. They'll save your life.

But as you go from 10 to 15 to 20 to 25, you still get bullied and buffeted about from pillar to post, being encouraged to fit into something, fit into somewhere, be someone else.

And just about the time you've been pushed around enough and you've really been trying to be everyone BUT you, then you suddenly realize you might try just being YOU. That in fact, it's the only person can be. So you put your foot down and make a stab at it -- being you. And the strangest part is -- it works.

In fact, nothing else ever works as well.

It's just so hard to get around to it.

Chipmunks Squirrels Baboons

There are so many wild animals in my backyard doing funny things and basic animalistic hijinx. They make me laugh out loud. I tell you. On a spring day, they are jumping for joy.

Talking Heads -- Animals


I'm mad...And that's a fact
I found out...Animals don't help
Animal think...They're pretty smart
Shit on the ground...See in the dark.

They wander around like a crazy dog
Make a mistake in the parking lot
Always bumping into things
Always let you down down down down.

They're never there when you need them
They never come when you call them
They're never there when you need them
The never come when you call them down down down down.

I know the animals...Are laughing at us
They don't even know...What a joke is
I won't follow...Animal's advice
I don't care...If they're laughing at us.

They're never there when you need them
They never come when you call them
They're never there when you need them
The never come when you call them down down down down.

They say they don't need money
They're living on nuts and berries
They say animals don't worry
You know animals are hairy?
They think they know what's best
They're making a fool of us
They ought to be more careful
They're setting a bad example
They have untroubled lives
They think everything's nice
They like to laugh at people
They're setting a bad example
(Go ahead) Laugh at me.

-- Talking Heads

Death of Ivan Ilyich

Have you read this? Check it out.

This new edition combines Tolstoy?s most famous short tale, The Death of Ivan Ilyich, with a less well known but equally brilliant gem, Master and Man, both newly translated by Ann Pasternak Slater. Both stories confront death and the process of dying: In Ivan Ilyich, a bureaucrat looks back over his life, which suddenly seems meaningless and wasteful, while in Master and Man, a landowner and servant must each confront the value of the other as they brave a devastating snowstorm. The quintessential Tolstoyan themes of mortality, spiritual redemption, and life?s meaning are nowhere more movingly and deftly explored than in these two tales.

-- Amazon

March

Women are marching on Washington DC this morning. Check it out. Wish I were there.

Say What You Will

Okay, okay, okay, we all know astrology is bogus. But some days ... it sure hits the mark.

This morning I was thinking, I'd rather be having an easy Sunday, reading the paper and all, but decided it was essential to get down to some serious spring cleaning. Started the day by tearing apart my closet, vacuuming it (it's a walk-in closet) and rearranging everything this morning -- lining up my shoes by color -- piling up the stuff that's going to charity. Then I go to the computer and read this horoscope today.
Forget the fact that it's Sunday, and you really should be enjoying yourself. You'll be in the mood to work, and work hard. If all else fails, tear apart your closets and cabinets. You know what they say about cleanliness.

Friday, April 23, 2004

To Sir With Love

OhmiGod! My friend Alison and I had such a blast rocking out to Lulu's To Sir With Love on the radio the other night. Boy, did I have the hots for Sidney Poitier when I saw that movie the first time. I'm going to watch that and Lilies Of The Field a few 100 times this weekend I think .

Thursday, April 22, 2004

My Blue House Boarded Up

I'm always intriqued when people "go black" on their blogs. Looks like My Blue House is planning to be quiet until next year. Doesn't 2005 sound really really far away?

Upgrade = Downgrade Per Usual

I was trying to use my Windows Media Player yesterday with some new CD's a friend sent me. They were playing but the volume didn't see quite right. If I set the computer's volume at the top level, it wasn't very loud at all and if I set it at 1/2 -- right in the middle of the guage -- it was mute. Another friend asked me what version I was running of WMP -- I checked to find 8.0. Apparently 9.0 and up are the most recent.

He suggested I do the Windows Upgrade. I hesitated. Everytime I upgrade, something completely screws up and that new problem proves nearly impossible to fix and results in either a completely NON-working computer, or some totally screwed up application. In my mind there is absolutely NO correlation between the words "upgrade" and "positive" -- it's always a negative result.

I try to keep an open mind.

I decided to risk it. I ran the upgrade thing and it told me there were 6 applications that needed updates. It also told me some COMPLETELY INDECIPHERABLE TECHNICAL-MARKETING-BLAH-BLAH thing about needing the "Exclusive Service Package" and of course that this must be done first.

I had no idea (NOR WANTED TO KNOW) what the hell their Exclusive Service Package (or whatever the obscure language was) did or why I needed it. Also the word "exclusive" was confusing to me -- what's exclusive about it -- do I have to pay for it? Is it exclusive to only certain customers? What the hell is "exclusive service" -- an 800 number with a non-Bangalorean person on the other end?

It also had that anti-customer tone of "you know you have to do this before you do that, of course" except I had no idea WHAT applications were being upgraded (there was a spagetti pile of words I couldn't make heads nor tails of) and why I might have to do one first or not. Shouldn't the software guys who are so keen on these being done in some order, SIMPLY DO THEM IN ORDER, ALL ON THEIR OWN. Why are they asking me to do that? Oh, yeah, I forgot, because I'm a PhD in Computer Science with nothing to do for the next 5 hours -- NOT!!!!!

I "nexted" through it and started the download which took a long time.

When it was done, I thought, "Great, I can go back and listen to my music LOUD."

Of course, you can forget any notion of instant software gratification -- or upgraded applications that actually work after you download them.

It had to do some sort of post-install thing.

Okay, I let it do that.

Then it had to restart itself.

Well, when it was done with that -- there was a big error message about how my Windows Media Player w/Yamaha speakers wasn't working.

I checked the new version -- to find it had NOT upgraded from 8.0 to 9.0 -- the whole frigging point of the wild goose chase -- and now it had disabled my speakers and I could hear NO MUSIC.

Well, at least it's nice to know you can count on some things in this world -- NEVER EVER EVER BOTHER TO UPGRADE. The word "upgrade" is an illusion.

Upgrade actually means downgrade.

The final step of my upgrade process involves removing the CD from the computer, walking across the room and putting it in the Sony CD Player. Voila! It works!

Enough With All The Drinking

Don't miss this piece about "Newman Day" at Princeton -- a binge drinking event.

Wednesday, April 21, 2004

Acting Out Again Mad Miss?

Big Chill Watusi weather, crank that music -- I'm shaking my money maker -- my little girl can-can can oh yes, she really really can today.

So I figured it out. This blog is where I can act out and be a little mad. On my other blogs I keep my Mary Janes fastened, as it should be, as it should be.

Over here, I hear the siren songs and I keep remembering we can die in a flash -- just like that, like tomorrow, or later this afternoon. Go out and get in the car and make the wrong turn and you go out.

Gone.

So shake your booty baby, you're here NOW and I think that's about all you can be sure of.

I'm sure sure of it -- like fer shure.

This Frigging Web

Welcome to the people's place -- The Web -- this weird and wacky wonderful frigging web where someone added a list of who sang lead on which Beatles song. All the tons of stuff you would never easily find before is here for your entertainment and amusement. A web of everything strung together like a crazy crappy stingy mess of spider webs and you can get very stuck in it and stuck on it -- I love it. It thinks this crap matters -- and so do we.

We're all here. All the lyrics, all the ideas, all the languages, all the useless trivial shit that makes us really odd funny great weird wacky frigging complex human beings.

Thanks for stringing all the funny wires -- all the lovely strings of lights -- illuminating a big sparkly net.

Okay Kevin ... Since You're Always Right

I work with this great guy now named Kevin Salwen. But honestly he's a royal pain in the ass, because not only does he read all my shit, but he always notices mistakes and he always corrects me and he's always right. He is serious mensch material -- so you can't help but adore him while hating his guts.

So today he asks me after reading the post below ... "Wasn't that McCartney singing the lead on I've Just Seen A Face?"

So now I have to go look. My problem is I'm a total Lennonfreak and I think Lennon sang the lead on everything -- or if he didn't he should've. I mean I think he even sang, "You can trust your car to the Man Who Wears The Star, the bright red Texaco star!" And boy, Lennon can wipe my windshield any old time. I'm mad for the man.

So Kevin. Let's see ... yeah, you're right.

Other Girls Were NEVER Quite Like This

I think I'll never get over the simplicity of the tunes, rhythms, words, ideas and especially the rhymes of the Beatles songs. They are brilliantly simple and do something really well in a really simple -- seemingly easy -- way, which of course is really hard to do. There's not much they miss.

And they talk about love and kisses and tears and longing better than just about anyone ever has in rock.

Listen to :

I've Just Seen A Face

I've just seen a face
I can't forget the time or place
where we just met ...

She's just the girl for me
And I want all the world to see we've met
Hmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm ...


and you can hear that hurly-burly falling down a flight of stairs falling in love stuff as he tries to recall the scene of the crime -- where he met this girl, the time and place. It has a hurtling forward pace that's "cherchez la femme" at top speed.

He can't explain it but he knows he's falling. And the opening guitar vamp of that crazy inebriated swirly bubbles going down the drain -- or up -- sound gets you ready to be swept off your feet.

The frisky guitar and the "Mmmm Mmmmm Mmmm" lyric is brilliant because for a lyricist to throw a line like that (which is so purposeful) and says in so many words, "I don't even know what to say -- I'm THAT taken by this girl." (Reminds me of the early brill Taupin lyrics like "I've forgotten if they're green or they're blue" in Your Song. It's that lyricist-so-smitten-he-can't-even-write-a-line pose.)

And the guitar solo with its intentional energetic pounding, has the same feeling of -- "Hey, I gotta figure this thing out."

Great song. John Lennon's voice -- what can you say? Only the best. The best ever.


Places

There are places
I remember


All my life,
Though some have changed

Some forever,
not for better

Some have gone
and some remain.

All these places
have their moments

With lovers and friends
I still can recall

Some are dead
and some are living

In my life
I loved them all.

Oh Girl

Was she told when she was young
that pain would lead to pleasure
Did she understand it when they said
That a man must break his back
to earn his day of leisure?

My Oh My!

I get high when I see you go by.
My oh my.

Music Maestro

Someone nice just sent me some nice music. Thanks!

Outside

Now that we're finally having great weather, I'm finding myself outside almost all day long. Doesn't do much for one's blogging. Bear with me, this is New England, the weather's sure to change.

Tuesday, April 20, 2004

Madame Librarian

Our new library was renovated -- took the last 3 years -- and opened today. It is so gorgeous. I feel so spoiled. I could just move in here I love it so much. Lovely couches and chairs to cozy up and read in -- very Barnes & Noble -- terrific kid's floor. Great internet access. Heaven on earth!

Monday, April 19, 2004

Are You Happy?

I've been asking the question over at Worthwhile. See this link. Thanks to Rodney's blog for the original source.

Red White Blue

Back from the re-enactment on the Battle Green -- actually didn't get up early enough to make it, okay, I was up, but my slumbering cub scout wasn't. So we made it to the line-up area for the parade and off we marched for the Patriot's Day parade in our cub scout pack. Pancake breakfast at a local church followed the many speeches and flag raising. I love to see the old minutemen and minutewomen all dressed up, especially on such a lovely day.

Sunday, April 18, 2004

If The Beckham Affair Shocked You

Wait until you read The Scarlet Letter by new novelist Nathaniel Hawthorne. It too suggests that some men actually sleep with women other than their wives! I know this is news to everyone, but I wanted to break it to you slowly.

Little League And A Perfect Day For It

Gotta dig my glove out of the closet and then we're off.

Catch you all later. Play ball!

New Thongs

No, no, not these. I mean I got a pair of cool new Speedo waffle pattern pink thong sandals at Target. Can't find a picture. I'll link it later -- just get over there today and get ready for all this great hot weather!

New Bikini

Had to score one of those. Welcome Summer!

Should fit by ... say ... Labor Day.

New Skateboard

Had to get one of those today -- the Canadian Maple Hardwood kind. Welcome Spring!

Boston Marathon Weather

I'm sure no one called this one -- that it might be 88 degrees for the race tomorrow! With the very cold winter and very cold spring (like up until LAST WEEK), we were all praying for no snow on race day. Now it's actually going to be too hot. Go figure.

Early American Alpha Male

Tomorrow's Patriot's Day here in Boston and I've been reading a lot about many of our "founding fathers" and I was particularly intrigued by Paul Revere's biography and have been thinking about what it must have been like to live in those days.

First of all, Revere married Sarah Orne and had eight children and then was widowed -- something I didn't know. Sarah and their last son, both died in childbirth. Very sad, but soon he married again and had eight more children with his second wife, Rachel Walker.

That was nothing compared to all he did in business and politics and the military. What was fascinating to me about his biography is how much he did and how long he lived and how much was required of people starting a new country. Copulating was serious business when you were starting a new nation -- the more fathers fathering the more new baby patriots, the better.